So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
by superheroninjadinosaurs
Summary: The eighteenth birthday is when everyone get's their timer that allows them to know the exact moment they make eye contact with their soul mate, and the week leading up to Roxas's eighteenth birthday, is as normal as it ever will be.


just something really lame I wrote after spending two whole days camped out on the couch watching netflix

disclaimer: the timer things are based on the movie Timer (but the age thing is clearly different, for those of you who have seen it) and yeah... I don't really know what to say, but here you go!

also I just googled pick-up lines. none of them are mine.

* * *

"Okay class, I want you and your lab partners together at your assigned stations! Goggles on! That means you, Castillo! We don't want _another_ Timer miss hap!" Axel's fiery red hair shot up from his desk, accompanied by his grinning face, and a devilish wink that caused the Chemistry teacher to roll her eyes, and Roxas to cringe from his side of the desk. Axel awake during Chemistry on a Monday morning could only be terrible news for Roxas.

Axel Castillo had always been, to Roxas at least, a nuisance, like a splinter in the bottom of your foot. It hurt like a bitch, but no matter how hard you try to get it out, it just won't budge. And where there was an Axel, there was his face, his stupid grinning tattooed, perfectly angular face, which is expected, but still took the blonde by surprise every day. And attached to that face were his full lips that curled at the corners giving way to premature laugh lines and a smattering of faint cocoa colored freckles across his cheeks. But it wasn't the lips that were the issue; it was what came out of them.

And as if on cue, "No wonder the sky looked grey this morning, all the blue is in your eyes, Roxy," Axel stood from their shared desk and stretched, causing tan skin to pull over taut muscles and his thin shirt to ride up, but Roxas wasn't looking, Roxas had already turned his face away in utter disgust at another one of Axel's famous cheesy pick-up lines, and at Axel just in general, but that never stopped the redhead from trying. "Aw, I'm sorry; you must still be tired from running through my mind all night long. I'll wait until you wake up a little bit more."

Ignoring Roxas's metaphorical splinter in the foot was something the blonde had a lot of practice doing over the years. It was an unfortunate pass time. Roxas tuned out what Axel was saying, probably a Chemistry pick-up line, because it wouldn't be Chemistry if Axel didn't make one. The blonde had hoped, deep, deep down with all his will power that once Axel had his Timer in place, it would count down to his fate, and Axel wouldn't have a reason to follow him around like a lost puppy or a deranged stalker, depending on the weekday. But Axel turned eighteen over the summer, and the fucking thing was blank. Whoever was Axel's unfortunate perfect match, didn't even have the chance to see it coming. Poor guy. Or girl. Or tissue box… Roxas really didn't know. Roxas shook his head at the misfortune and snatched a pair of goggles from the cabinet.

Axel followed Roxas in putting on his goggles and lighting the Bunsen burner, keeping quiet just long enough to make the blonde's skin crawl. Roxas watched Axel wearily as he passed the test tube over the flame and recorded the data, and was very mindful of the bubbles. "You awake now?" Axel's question took Roxas off guard just enough that he nodded his head with a yawn, and the corners of Axel's mouth twitched up into a smirk the devil would envy, "good. Do you have eleven protons? Cause you're Sodium fine!"

Roxas groaned, "Axel. It's seven thirty in the morning; I don't have time for your lame pick up lines." Where there were Axels to spit out all the bad Karma Roxas accumulated in a past life, there were Roxases who always, always took the bait.

"Oh, but come on, Roxy, I've got my ion you baby!" Axel chuckled, watching how Roxas flushed with anger and mumbled something about obnoxious redheads, but who knows what he could've been talking about because Axel was the only redhead in class, and he was a genius when it came to these things! at least he though so.

The lab ended with Axel 'accidentally' lighting their data sheet on fire... again, and a chemical spill when Roxas shrieked at Axel's not quite fully wandering hands, that scared him shitless.

That whole incident of broken glass and a hole being burned through Roxas's new shirt had an entire class of seniors freaking out and running out of the classroom while Roxas was forced under the emergency shower head and told to strip— and fast. The blonde stood, shivering in just his boxers, glaring at Axel from the other side of the door as he laughed so hard Roxas imagined him choking on his own saliva and dying right there in the hallway. Now that would be something. But all he got was himself sitting on a towel in the middle of the boys bathroom, while a trusted classmate got him a set of dry clothes.

This trusted classmate was Axel, who grinned from ear to ear as he handed a spare set of Roxas's gym clothes over to the shivering blonde, "It's kind of cold in here, huh? Downright nipply, Roxy?" if Roxas strangled Axel he could blame it on that chemical spill, he so could. And he'd get away with it too.

After he changed he combed his fingers through his wet hair, but with no luck his hair was flat to his forehead, curling in the most unattractive ways, and waited in the main office for his dad to pick him up.

Damp hair was still matted to his face and he still had a glare that Roxas was known for when he was signed out. "Don't ask," He mumbled as he buckled himself into the passenger side, and crossed his arms over his chest. Roxas really hated Axel Castillo.

* * *

Tuesday. Axel was notorious for messing up Roxas's Tuesdays. Without fail. Tuesdays were when the redhead bummed an early ride to school from a girl named Larxene, who had hair like a cockroach, but diluted herself into thinking it looked cool that way. No one had the balls to tell her any different, because that girl was a piece of work; one crazy blonde with big breasts, a shorter temper than Roxas's and a concealed weapons permit. There was a rumor floating around that she hacked off her ex-boyfriend's nuts for cheating on her with throwing knives, but no one was really supposed to talk about that. And Axel didn't seem to mind. And unlucky enough for Roxas, he had to be at school early every day… including Tuesdays.

Roxas had his bag hanging from a single shoulder strap and text books in arms as he walked down the nearly empty halls with Hayner, "so then Pence starts laughing, only he's already chugged his Chocolate milk, but Olette doesn't know that, and she's just ranting and then all of a sudden milk everywhere! I mean everywhere! Olette was so pissed he got it all over her shoes!" Hayner let out his own chuckles as Roxas could barely contain his manic laughter. "Man you should have been there yesterday!"

So far, it was a good day. He'd woken up on time, his project due date was postponed, thank the heavens for that one because he hadn't even finished reading the book, and his little sister didn't take forever and a day in the bathroom, and hell she'd even left him some hot water for a shower.

That could only mean one thing, and Roxas knew with a certainty that Axel was coming soon to turn his day into shit, like he knew the sky was blue. His gaze darted from person to person in the hall, on a search and avoid mission for Axel. If Roxas saw Axel before the redhead saw him, there was a chance of escape, "Roxy, why isn't it a surprise seeing you, so early in the morning?" …except Roxas didn't have eyes at the back of his head. He jumped, but tried to conceal it with a loud frustrated grown.

Axel chuckled and quickly stepped in front of Roxas, walking backwards because Roxas wasn't going to stop for Axel and not with Hayner by his side. Roxas sighed, side stepping the lanky teen, "we go through this every week, Axel. I'm always early, and you're always stalking me."

Hayner watched as Axel scoffed, clearly offended, and touched his hand over his heart in a series of dramatics. "I'm wounded!"

"Yeah, you'll get over it." Roxas gave Axel one last look before ducking into the library, only to have his arm grabbed by the teen.

"Wait, I just have one question."

Really, Roxas shouldn't have dignified that with a response, but Axel's eyes where just the right shade of green in that lighting, so he did, "what."

"Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!"

But oh, Tuesdays didn't end there. Tuesday saw him and Axel in Chemistry where the redhead asked Roxas if he was 'made of Copper and tellurium, because you are really fucking CuTe." And then it saw Roxas seated in the front row during his physics class, as far away from Axel as possible. Roxas hated the front row. He always got called on, and hardily ever had the answer in time, but he'd be dammed if he was going to take the only other open desk in class. Next to Axel. So Roxas pretended to be the good student and scribbled away in his notebook trying his hardest to finish all the assigned problems, when a crumpled sheet of paper fell into his lap.

The blonde shot up, before whipping around to glare a hole through Axel, but the redhead was working for a change. Roxas looked back down at his lap, carefully unfolding the paper to reveal a few doodles and blocky letters that read, "Those clothes would look even better accelerating towards my bedroom floor at 9.8 m/s ;)"

"Fuck my life," Roxas thought banging his head on his desk.

* * *

Wednesday it rained. Hard. And that meant two things. One: gym was going to be inside for a change, and two: he couldn't run the track the whole time to avoid Axel. The worst part of gym wasn't the exercise, because Roxas considered himself in shape, it was because his gym locker was across from Axel's. And that meant having to put up with, "damn, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?" and "when did you clean your shorts with Windex? I can practically see myself in them." all before roll call and stretches.

Roxas sat on the gym floor at the back of the line for kickball. All they could really do in the gym was that or basketball, and the girls weren't too fond of that idea. Roxas wasn't too fond of that idea either, considering he was short and his classmates loved to put him on the same team as Axel as compensation for his lack of height. But kickball wasn't about height, or Axel's or how he was in all of his classes this year, or how he was on the opposite team and had been responsible for two of Roxas's outs in the last half hour. It was about Sora babbling happily next to him and shifting one neon yellow converse clad foot over the other, "Roxas, what are you gunna do for your birthday this year?"

Roxas slid a few inches on the waxed floor to fill the gap made by the line moving up, "my mom's really excited to get my Timer implanted the second I hit eighteen. So I'll probably be at the mall on Saturday."

Sora nodded his head, crazy bed head hair going everywhere, "ouch, that sucks man. My grandma thinks they're bullshit, you know. Been with my grandpa for sixty years, and blah blah blah." Sora rolled his big blue eyes.

"You think they're shit too, Sora," Roxas cut Sora a look that was returned with a sheepish grin. Sora lived with his grandparents in a cozy little apartment close to the school and he was far from believing in things like the Timers. "I bet you'll believe in them once Riku gives you the time of day and your timers ding, and you ride happily off into the sunset on his white horse." Sora flushed and toyed with his wristband. It was true that Sora had a crush on Riku, but it would never work out. Riku was the twenty-year-old life guard for his apartment complex's pool, and he'd never ever even seen Sora. Riku had shoulder length silver hair, abs that Roxas had to sometimes literally remind Sora to stop drooling over, eyes that made the pool water look dull, and a girlfriend to compliment his laugh.

Roxas didn't tell Sora his Timer didn't match hers.

Another out was made and it was time to switch sides, so Roxas yanked his brunette pal up, Sora sighed sadly. "Shut up, or the universe is going to bite you in the ass, and get you stuck with Axel for the rest of your life."

"What was that about Axel and asses?" speak of the devil. He had a lopsided smirk and one short eyebrow waggling high on his forehead.

Roxas kept walking, "nothing, just how much you're a pain in mine."

Axel's smile grew, "If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just use more lube." no one ever accused Sora of being terribly bright, but to be fair no one warned him not to laugh at something Axel said to Roxas, either.

For a split second he thought he was making eye contact with hell's fury.

* * *

Thursdays were good days. Thursdays meant Axel slept through quiz reviews in Chemistry, and tests in physics, and ran the mile in gym, and slept through government, and was too busy reading the tragedy of Julius Caesar aloud and making it into one giant gay porno to really bother Roxas personally. But it was the Thursday before Roxas's birthday, and that meant Axel would ruin it. Caesar was put on the back burner so the students could journal for the last time before finals, and Roxas was busy pouring out his heart and soul about how glad he was to be finally getting away from high school. Axel was leering at the blonde hard at work from the opposite side of class.

"now class, since there is only a few more weeks of school left, I want you all to switch journals with somebody in class and let them read today's entry." If Roxas was afraid of others reading his writing, he would have turned just as pale as everyone else in the room. But he wasn't, and so he stood up, puncturing his last sentence, only to have his composition note book snatched from his hands by Axel. The red head tossed Roxas his journal in exchange before sauntering to the other side of the room. Roxas silently fumed, but sat back down, not wanting to make another scene during his English class.

Nearly all the pages were empty, but the notebook had its spine falling off and paper ripped out and coffee stains all over, and just one sentence written on a page in the back.

_If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. _

And Roxas had had it.

* * *

Roxas skipped school on Friday, because Axel _was_ Friday. Axel had an endless supply of pick up lines and he dumped most of them on Roxas between calculus and lunch on Friday, and Roxas was not in the mood for another, 'I wish I was your problem set, because then I'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk.' Honestly Roxas sucked at calculus, and Axel sucked as a person, so his mom took pity on him, and let him sleep in.

Roxas looked down at his pale wrist most of the day, wondering just what it would be like when he couldn't see it anymore.

* * *

Saturdays were when Roxas got to forget what Axel Castillo looked like. And this Saturday his mom made him strawberry waffles; his favorite, with a candle for him to blow out. His dad patted him on the shoulder and handed him an envelope with a card inside that said happy birthday, and a set of car keys fell out. Roxas freaked out and ran outside to his new used car. Then after freaking out, his little sister complained that it wasn't fair, but what did Roxas care, he was an adult with a car and his sister was only thirteen. He showered and smiled when he brushed his teeth and wore his favorite t-shirt and _he_ drove his mom to the mall in _his _car.

Roxas unbuckled his seat belt and watched impatiently as his mother hurriedly got out of the car, taking out her camera with a teary eyed smile on her face. "mooooom!"

"Roxas, I'm just so sad to see my baby growing up so fast. I'm so proud of you Roxas." she hugged him, squeezing the air right out of him.

"Mom. I lived eighteen years, not rescued deaf and blind orphans from a burning building. It's not a big deal." The blonde pealed his mother off of him and headed into the mall.

"Oh shush, you." She swatted him on the arm, and tugged him along into the mall to the little booth for the Timers. Roxas gulped at the little booth. An eight-year-old was getting her ears pierced with a piercing gun while her mom picked out earrings. Honestly Roxas didn't think it was a good idea to get a Timer implanted at a booth that sold cheap jewelry and pierced belly buttons in public, but he had to trust his mom on this one.

His mom quickly grabbed the attention of one of the three workers, "excuse me, my son is eighteen, and he would like his timer." She smiled and the worker nodded, ushering them to a small chair with a side rest.

"This must be exciting for you, finding out when you'll meet the love of your life." The piercer was a small woman with a broad smile and steady hands that she was snapping gloves over. She wiped down Roxas wrist as he signed a waver with his other hand.

"Yeah, nerve wracking." Roxas replied with a faint smile and closed his eyes, waiting for the device to be implanted. Roxas didn't look it, and he'd never admit it aloud, but unlike Sora, he was a hopeless romantic. He believed in love at first sight and fairytale romances. And he also believed that all piercings hurt like a bitch. And his throbbing wrist and mother's camera flashing assured him it was true. "Okay, all done."

Roxas looked down at the little silver device, not yet turned on, "when does it start working?"

The woman clacked at a computer screen for a moment, "I'm turning it on right now. After it's on it will count down until the day you meet your soul mate, and when you make eye contact with them, this little guy, "she tapped the Timer on Roxas's wrist and he winced, "will ding and let you know." she clicked again at the keyboard and spun back around. "All ready."

They watched the screen with anticipation until it lit up displaying in bright green numbers, '08/13/10.' Roxas and his mother blinked in confusion as the woman gasped.

"I don't understand, what does that mean?" Roxas looked up to catch the woman's gaze.

She sighed, content, "Well you see you've already met your soul mate. And they've already got their timer, too. Isn't that romantic?" Roxas's mother looked distraught. "Older models would have usually gone into the negative numbers, but the newer ones can turn that data into an actual date once they've met." Roxas mouthed a small oh and his mother paid and they left. No sooner than his mother had started pestering him about his crushes, did his phone ring.

"Mom, Sora texted. He's almost here. I promised I'd meet up with him."

"Oh okay, I'll just go shopping. I need a new pair of shoes anyway." She smiled with a wink and left her son alone. He walked to the food court where Sora was supposed to meet him, and sat at a little table in the corner.

"It better not be fucking Sora." He mumbled putting his head down and closing his eyes.

"hiya, Roxy." Great. He wasn't even safe on the weekends. He didn't need Axel. Roxas cringed and buried his head in his arms, waiting for the line to come, but it didn't, so he looked up. His eyes traveled up the thin arms, and black shirt, up Axel's neck and he briefly wondered just how many freckles Axel had smattered across his cheeks, and stopped at his jade green eyes, splintered with vines of gold.

_Ding ding ding. _

_ Ding ding ding. _

Roxas's face drained of color as his Timer and Axel's rang simultaneously. His eyes bugged out of his skull and watched as Axel's smile threatened to split his face in two when he spoke, "On a scale of one to ten, you're a nine. And I'm clearly the one you need."

"MOTHER FUCKER!"


End file.
